masturbate more like masturgreat ha u feel me 

no, no one feels you, that’s why you’re masturbating. 

(via nh-redneck-girl)


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It’s sandwich day. Every Thursday I bring Pudge the fish a peanut butter sandwich. But today we were out of peanut butter. I asked my sister what to give him, and she said a tuna sandwich! I can’t give Pudge tuna! [whispers] Do you know what tuna is? [yells] It’s FISH! If I gave Pudge tuna, I’d be an abomination. I’m late because I had to go to the store, to get some peanut butter, ‘cause all we have is stinking tuna! 
Why is this so important?
Pudge controls the weather.

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I want to be with someone who, 10 years from now, makes my heart jump when I hear her key in the door.

-and that person is you. (via beatboxgoesthump)

(Source: revolutionaryrainbows, via nh-redneck-girl)